You left this world surrounded by love.

Throughout the last few weeks, your friends have made so many visits to sit by your side, share a laugh, hold your hand, and when you got sicker, just be present so you were never alone. As Thursday began to unfold, we knew it would soon be time. Your friends had already planned on coming over that day, and I knew it was right. I told them to all come together that afternoon, when usually they came separately. I wanted them all there together. The night before, and earlier on Thursday, our parents and Holly and I had time to share some beautiful and powerful moments with you. But they knew, like I did, that it was meant to be that your friends were there that day.

You knew they were there. You didn’t verbally respond to much at that point, but at one point when I was giving you medication I told you “all your friends are here” to which you replied, “I know that already.” Of course you did. We laughed and smiled and knew. Of course you knew we were all there.

As the afternoon ticked on, we knew it was getting close to when you would leave us. Mom and dad sat at your side. Your friends surrounded you and held your hand, rubbed your legs, never let you leave their line of sight. The air was heavy with anticipation, grief, sadness and love.

As 5:03 pm drew near, your breaths slowed. You relaxed. I began to panic. My heartrate spiked, my vision blurred, my breath grew rapid and shallow, my hands began to tingle and I became so, so scared of being in a world without you. I watched you take your last breath at 5:03, and I knew you were gone. A brief moment went by and dad asked me to come to your side to confirm if you had passed. Despite my intense feeling of panic, I went to your side and laid my hand on your chest. You were gone. And in that moment, an immense feeling of peace washed over me. You were at peace. I felt it in my heart, an absolute sense of knowing that you were okay. I said aloud, ”He’s gone. But he is at peace.” I leaned in and kissed your forehead and told you I was so, so proud of you. I know you knew. I told you I loved you. I know you knew that, too.

You were surrounded by love up until the very end. How amazing you are James, to have made such an impact in people’s lives that they would want to be there with you at the very end. Never wavering, never leaving, always there to show their love and never ending support. I am so, so humbled by your friends and am beyond grateful for the love they have given you. They have helped carry me through this unimaginable process, and I know I will continue to lean on them as we navigate the unimaginable together.

And it is because of you, because of the amazing person you were and the mark you’ve left on so many. You were surrounded by love up until the very end, and we will continue to share that love with the world. You have embarked on your next great adventure, and we will see you again on the other side.